Legal focus: Top tips for an amicable divorce

A couple pose for photos next to the statue of ‘Hachiko’ in front of Tokyo’s Shibuya station – Copyright POOL/AFP Pavel BEDNYAKOV

The most recent data from the UK Office for National Statistics (ONS) revealed that England and Wales processed 80,057 divorces in 2022, the lowest amount since 1972. Whilst this is positive for most, there is still a huge proportion of marriages that end in divorce – 34.2 percent on average.

For most, going through a divorce is one of the most challenging periods in their lives. Despite this, it is generally in everyone’s best interest if divorce proceedings are resolved amicably, especially if children are involved.

Divorces which are taken to court, where one half of the couple is blamed for divorce, are expensive, lengthy and only serve to build resentment.

Remaining amicable in heartbreak is not easy; so to help struggling singles move on with their lives, Digital Journal asked Newcastle family law solicitor Lauren Laverick from Beecham Peacock for expert advice on achieving an amicable divorce.

Leave social media out of it

“It might be tempting to vent relationship frustrations on social media, but airing your dirty laundry online can have serious negative consequences during the divorce procedure,” says Laverick. “Anything you post online can be used as evidence in court, with negative or inflammatory posts about your ex being used as proof of behaviour or character. These are the points of contention which could seriously complicate matters concerning child access and contact, as well as spousal support.”

Laverick adds: “Speaking from an emotional perspective, negative social media posts, comments or interactions can be perceived as harassment and be incredibly distressing”.

“Negativity online can escalate grievances and make amicable separation harder to achieve, especially if the spectacle is public and can be witnessed by friends, family or your children – involving others in a personal matter. Ultimately, it’s best to leave social media out of it, and if communication breaks down, communication instead should only be conducted through a third party – ideally a divorce solicitor.”

Talk to your children

“For children, divorce can become a traumatic experience if dealt with poorly,” Laverick continues. “It’s important that you communicate to your child openly and honestly, reassuring them that their family aren’t going away, but reshaping.”

She advises: “Children who do not yet understand the delicate and complex nature of relationships may feel as though one half of their parents no longer love them. This is also why you should not argue with your ex-partner in front of your child or discuss grievances with them. Your child loves both of you and will likely be mourning the original composition of your family, any attempt to persuade them to ‘pick a side’ is unhelpful and will only cause resentment.”

Laverick’s assessment continues: “From a legal perspective, a child who is better informed of the separation will be more receptive to child access times once proceedings are finalised, which is best for both parties.”

File for no-fault divorce

“Introduced on April 6, 2022, no-fault divorces are the ideal option for an amicable separation,” says Laverick. “They reduce potential conflict by removing finger-pointing and absolving either party of any blame for the breakup.”

Furthermore: “The removal of blame reduces animosity, instead allowing the couple to focus on more important and practical issues – such as child access, contact and splitting assets,” Lauren continues. “No-fault divorces are also much cheaper as the dispute will not be taken to court, maintaining the privacy of the breakup by keeping grievances out of the public record. Not to mention, no-fault divorces are the quicker and simpler option for separation, helping both parties move on with their lives as soon as possible.”

Consider a collaborative law process

“When you start the process of contacting a solicitor about your divorce proceedings, you may want to consider a collaborative law process. This is a newer way of dealing with family disputes, where both parties appoint their own lawyer, but then meet face-to-face to resolve the outstanding issues and proceedings,” Laverick explains.

She clarifies further: “This is a very cooperative approach to resolving your divorce, encouraging respectful communication and allowing the couple to have greater control of the outcome. Like no-fault divorces, this process is quick, less expensive and avoids court proceedings.”

Moreover, Laverick adds: “Many couples find this a more amicable way of conducting a divorce as it encourages the couple to work together to make decisions on what’s best for everyone involved, including the children. By working together, often couples reach a more understanding solution. However, this method of separation is not ideal if communication has already broken down and working together in this way is likely to cause further tension.”

Contact a professional sooner rather than later

“It’s essential for couples to lean on the expertise of professionals during the divorce proceedings – the earlier this is done, the quicker you’ll get towards reaching an amicable solution,” Laverick recommends. “Professional divorce solicitors aren’t only knowledgeable, they are non-judgemental and offer an objective viewpoint of this situation. This is helpful in ensuring a calm and rational response to a breakup at a very difficult and emotionally charged time.”